Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by
This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most.
Monday, May 30, 2005
hMm...weLL....it's tyM to bLog again....had stOp bLoggin fOr abT a wEek dUe to e o'leveL cHinesE...
erM....saT fOr o'leveL cHinesE tOday....eH....i tink it's gOin to b a disappOinTmenT fOr mdM chUa & myseLf baHx....haix....papEr 1..leTTer wriTTing was nT daT baD...bUt i tink i wiL scOre badLy fOr my cOmpO...i dUn nOe waT m i wriTTing abT....*agrHx...tErribLe...hMm...papEr 2....haHx...weLL...dUn tink wiL dO weLL fOr daT tOo....cOmprE is gOin tO kiLL me...UTTERLY....laLaax....
okOk...nOw o'leveL cHinesE is ovEr....tmL wiL havE lessOns fOr jUne hOliday....haix... whOle of tis wEek.... dEtEsT pHysiCs e mOsT... LOL.... * haHx....canT heLp it laHx....
*___ rEaLLy hOpe daT thIng caN b waT iT usEd tO bE.... ___*
- daT's tOo mUch fOr me tO takE it....i reaLi hOpe daT evEryting can b waT it usEd tO b.... i triEd tO escapE frOm it bUt e reaLity jUz kEep pUllin mE baCk.... *siCk of iT.....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
9:26 PM.
__________
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
argHx...tOday was a bad day....LOL... e wEather is daMn hOt...lesSon is nOt tOo bad excLuding pHysiCs...haHax....weLL...stiL canT escapE away frM parEnt meeTing sEssiOn...LOL....wTh....cHange e critEria aT lasT minUte...L1R5 mOre dEn 20 aLL mUz meEt parEnt... nOw aLmOst e whOle cLass tis tyM rOund...onLy 4 smarties dOesnt niD...stUpid!!! erM...geT e scHedUle fOr jUne hOliday le....hMm...jUne hoLiday is fuLLy paCk wif leSsons...sO it's nOt a hoLiday fOr sEc 4...LOL....bUt nvM laHx...xian kU hOu tian....haHax....
laLaax...oMg...o'leveL cHinesE is jUz 6 days away....waHx...6 DAYS... sO fasT leHx...kinDa strEss & scarE laHx.... reaLi hOpe tO geT an A1 aT onE gO.... LOL...bUt dEn lyk v diffcuLt leHx....heHex....erM...mUz pray tO gOd frM tOday onward...haHax...i m maDD.... hMm... haix... jUz bLess me loRx.... x)
hMm....tis fEw days mUz reaLi wOrk hard le....haHax....
___lOst in onE cOrnEr of e wOrld...___
- i m lOsT....losT in my wOndErland...bUt i m nOt tryin tO finD my way oUt...i dUn minD being leFt alonE in my laLaax wOrLd....LOL.... :p
don'tfeelsorryforme.
9:00 PM.
__________
Saturday, May 21, 2005
eH...weLL....tOday sUppOse tO gO hEartLand wif weiLin de....bUt dEn rain sO didnT gO le.... *hrMpx...derE gOes my frEe bUbbLe tEa....LOL... hMm....in e evEning wEnt bEdOk wif evE & wenDy tO tHrOw fLyErs...i waS higH on e way tO bedOk...haHax...hMm...ovEraLL...it was tiring....my legs hUrtx....LOL...erM...i wEre scarEd by sUm idiOt cOckrOacHes,raT & DOGS!!! argHx....can'T sTanD deM...haHax....dEn afT daT wenT to haf oUr dinnEr..haHax...dinnEr @ 10+pM... eH...rEacH hm aT 12 mid nigHt....*i scaRed of "darknEss"....LOL...pHew~ tmL stiL nid tO gO again.... LOL.... x)
hMm...haHax...tOday was weilin's birThday !!! LOL....
weiLin,
HAPPY 16tH BIRTHDAY !!!!
aLL e bEst tO yOu & may aLL ur wisHes cUm trUe.... *bEst wisHes....
eH...finaLLy....saMe age as me le....i waiTed fOr mOnTHs le leHx...LOL...can waTch nC16 tOgeTher le.... hAHax..... :P
+.// -[ sHh....i wanNa tO b aLone...ALONE...and i mean iT.... ]- //.+
- i niD sUm siLenT....sOo pLz leavE me aLone sUmtyM.... i waNna sOrt oUt my tOts tO reaLi undErsTand myseLf & tO undErsTand yOu tOo.... it may lOok diffcuLt bUt i haf lefT wif nO cHoicEs.... i jUz wan tings tO b beTTer.... *haix....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
1:46 AM.
__________
Thursday, May 19, 2005
hMm...weLL...tOday sChOoL was BORED.... in e mOrning derE was sUm sTupid inter-hOuse gaMes....LOL....beTween neTbaLL & baskeTbaLL,i cHooSe tO waTch e baskeTbaLL maTcH....haHax....bUt 1/2 way trU e maTch, snEak baCk tO cLass.....hMm.... wE siT in cLasS tO cHit cHat & wasTe tyM....haHax...dEn cHinesE inTensivE again....
eH...dEn afT reCess,wE siT in haLL tO waTch mOvie....LOL...e haLL is sTuffy...sO i snEak baCk tO cLass AGAIN...LOL...sHld bE many pPl snEak baCk tO cLass...LOL...erM.... wE arE maD... wE keEp taking pHoTo of oUrseLves...LOL....hMm...canT sTand ourseLvEs.... mUaHahax....

wHOo....oUr "sTar"...jOanne,cailing,glenDa,wenDy & my fingErs...LOL...
wHoO....tis tyM rOund i escapE frM mEeT e parEnt sEssiOn..... hUrray!!! dUn nid mEeT my parEnt le.... haHax...`jUmp....jUmp.....
cOunTing dOwn tO cHineSe O'leveL.....10 more days... x)
don'tfeelsorryforme.
8:40 PM.
__________
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
hMm...yTd gOt baCk ALL papErs le....weLL....it's terribLe....oMg~ i faiLed alOt.... i faiLed aLL e impOrtant sUbj....*savE me pLz... o sHit.... dOwn fOr meeT e parEnt sEssiOn AGAIN..... *argHx.... dUn nOe waT mrs kOh wiL teLL my mUmmy tis tyM rOund....*sObbx....
oh my....feeL lyk giving up hOpe on my cOmb. sCi.... esp pHysiCs...
aH chOng is driving mE maD.... reaL mad..... reaLi dUn nOe hw tO stUdy fOr daT sUbj.... beginning tO losT intEresT in pHys. as weLL.... haix.....
eH.... tis weEk is pOst exaM wEek...basicaLLy, evEryday gO scHoOl fOr cHinEse intEnsivE & wasTing tyM derE.... LOL.... cHineSe o'leveL is geTTing nearEr & NEARER...reaLi hOpe to geT an A1 aT onE gO....haHax.....*bLess myseLf.... x)
+__*x[ wHy m i stiL hoLdin on wEn i had decidEd tO leT gO... ]x*__+
- why? wHy? WHY? i m stiL sEarcHing fOr e answEr.... waT is hOldin mE baCk? trying aLL my bEst tO figUre it oUt.... __*tsk...tsk...tsk....wOndEring....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
9:27 PM.
__________
Saturday, May 14, 2005
hMm...weLL...yTd gOt baCk geO papEr 1... weLL... i geT 29/40... haHax... beTa den waT i expEcted cOsh i didnT sTudy fOr daT papEr...LOL....hMm... dEn yTd is aLs e lasT miTing fOr sEc 4 gUidEs... wE arE sTepping dOwn....*waHx~ tyM reaLi fLy hOrx.... hMm... basicaLLy.... wE dO nTh derE... jUz siT arOund waTching e jUniOrs having fOot driLL training.... haHax... hMm... wE aTTend e lasT c.O.h!! e mEeting was fUn.... bUt e fUn onLy begin afTer ms hia leavE... LOL....
tsk...tsk...tOday was fLag day....wE had tO gO arOund asking fOr dOnatiOn....wenDy,wEilin & i wenT tOgEthEr... dEn gLenDa & gang gO anOthEr pLacE... hMm.... aT 1sT, e 3 of us wanTed tO waLk to kOvan de.... bUt it sTarTed tO rain.... sO bO bian... wE tak 112 to kOvan mrT den wEnt tO habOur frOnt....eH... wE weNt dEre tO eaT Mc dOnaLd.... LOL... haHax... deN afT oUr brEakfasT... we waLked tO sEntOsa.... bUt dEn lyk nO pPL sO wE dEcidEd tO changE pLace...wE went tO city haLL....
hMm...wE waLked tO sUnteC....dEn we sTand derE ask fOr dOnation....LOL.... hMm... nOt tOo bad, mOst ppL dOnaTe....hMm... dEn wE abT 12.20pm wenT back tO hOugang pOint.... LOL... eH... abT 1pm reaCh pOint... weLL... lucKily, alOt of ppL dOnaTe wEn wE werE aT sUnteC dere...if nOt.. wE wiL haf tO ask fOr mOre dOnatiOn wEn we reach hOugang pOint....hMm... weLL... ovEraLL... fLag day was nOt tOO bad.... x)
uH...afT daT... wEnt tO ang mO kiO.... hmM... wenDy & i had oUr hair cUt... LOL... finaLLy... i eaT rOti bOy again... yUmmy...yUmmy...daT's deLiciOus hOrx.... haHax... dEn wEnT homE & SLP.... LOL.... haHax... wEnDy.... tHankx fOr ur rainbOw song laHx.... daT sOng is niCeee... :p
+[ i yEarn tO live in my wOndErland.... ]+
- jUz mE aLone wif nO onE eLse....a wOrLd filled wif happinEss....my desired happinEss....a wOrLd daT cOntains prOmises daT onLy madE tO myseLf....tEars daT shEd fOr myseLf....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
11:27 PM.
__________
Thursday, May 12, 2005
haix....saD tO say tis..... tOday geT baCk sUm exaM mark.... oMg.... disappOinTmenT is waT i can saE.... hMm.... my cOmb. pHysiCs is tErribLe..... haHAx...bUt i dUn reaLLy carE.... sUm sOrT of giving up le.... hmM... * oH gOsH.... pLz teLL me tO hang on....
i onLy geT 12/65.... haHax... * beLievE ur eyEs... reaLLy.... 12 marks.... hMm.... if i m nOt wrOng, my cLass onLy gOt 3 smarTies passEd tis stUpid pHysiCs....
hMm... dEn geT baCk pOa toO.... haix...saD.... vEry saD.... e wOrsT resuLt i evEr geT.... 57/100... c5 leHx.... 1sT c5.... sa1 dEstrOy my sTr. As.... haix.... bUt mUz seLf cOnsoLe myseLf laHx.... aT leasT i didnT faiL afTer leaving 20m BLANK.... bUt i m stiL disappOinTed wif myseLf..... reaL disappOinTed.... hMm.... bUt i wiL & MUZ dO beTTer fOr preLim... A1... daT's my targeT..... :)
haix.... sO afraid daT i wiL dO vEry badLy fOr sa1.... *argHx.... i dUn wan tO b dOwn fOr e miT e parEnt sEssion.... bUt i tink derE's a higH cHancE fOr mE lOrx.... haix... tmL & nx weEk wiL be geTting baCk all papErs.... *fEar...fear....FEAR.... i wiLL pray tO e gOd tO bLeSs mE...haHax... eH.... arOund 2 & 1/2 wEek tO o'level cHinesE le.... dEn nx weEk onward wiL havE mT inTensivE cOursE....*argHx...mUz sTarT revising le... x)
- pLz teLL me tO hang on....teLL mE nOt tO give up hOpe yeT....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
9:45 PM.
__________
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
eH...tOday dUn nid tO aTTend sChOol...LOL...hMm...dEn wEnt tO eaT sUsHi witH gLenDa,wEilin & jOannE....eH...wE wEnt tO bisHan dE sakaE sUsHi....haHax....uH.... wE aTe qUite alOt laHx....eaT tiL wE waNna bUrsT....LOL....i eaT 10 pLaTes of sUshi,1/2 bOwl of udOn,1 plaTe of frUits & 1 cUp of icE crEam....hMm...i canT beLievE i aTe sO mUcH....haHax....
hMm...gLenDa was lamE....sHe is stUpid.... haHax.... i nOe sHe is ALWAYS lyk daT de....LOL.... eH... my laO pU,jOanne is sOo fUnny.... sHe is a bEar....haHax....pa di xiOng wOrx...cUte leHx....x) gLenDa is baby xiOng.... LOL..... *weirD frEnx of minE..... erM.... uH.... wEilin.... u mUz b gLad u r nOrmaL.... winK~....
dEn on e way hOme....gLenDa...u makE mE maH lu.... LOL... sing dE rainbOw sOng sOo lOud....haHax....okok laHx....afTer O'leveL wiL bring u tO KTV & sing tiL u nO vOice laHx....bT fOr nOw... pLz kEep ur swEeT vOice tO urseLf hOrx....if nOt wE wiL "jEalOus" dE.... haHax.... bUt ovErall... i enjOyed eaTing sUsHi.... mUahaHahAx.....
haix.... tmL nOrmaL lessOn again.... sianx..... had tO lisTen tO aH cHong lesSon.... sUre wiL faLL asLp....oH my.... gOt pOa leSson as weLL.... sO strEss...hMm.... jUz hOpe daT tmL wiL b a gUd day fOr me.....heHex....
- i tOt daT evEryting is gOin tO bE easy... bUt i was wrOng....
- i triEd my bEsT...reaLLy...aLL my bEst....bUt nO maTTer hw mUch effOrt i pUt in, evErything jUz remain e saMe...pErhap tyM is aLL i nid nOw.... *haix....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
8:02 PM.
__________
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
hMm....haHax.... cHangEd a nEw blOgskin.... hMm... cHanging a blOgskin is VERY trOubLesUm.... LOL....
yipEe !!! tOday is e lasT day of sa1 le....LOL... sOo gLad daT i dUn haf tO gO tO sChoOl...haHax...i wiL "miSs" e scHoOl....LOL....haix.... tOday saT fOr pOa papEr 2 & cOmb. sCi papEr 1....argHx...pOa was a disappOintmEnt man....i tink tis papEr i wiL scOre badLy....i tink iT wiL b e wOrsT resuLt i evEr had amOng aLL otHer pOa resuLt....*sOob haix... abT 20 marKs gOne fOr sUre.... oMg.... aHhH!! dUn waNna tOk abT it le...feEL lyK crying oUt lOud le....haix.... hMm... cOmb. sCi papEr 1...weLL...i dUn gif a daMn....i waS lyk pLaying sUm sOrt of gUessin gaMe...haHax....eH....mOnday geTTing baCk sUm exaMs papEr....o my....sTress.... * i wiL pray hard daT i wUn flUnk tOo many papErs... haHax.... x)
eH.... tOday aLs gEt baCk ca2 rEsuLt sLip...o dEar... e mOsT fUnniEr resuLt sLip i had sEen evEr sincE sEc 3.... haHax.....& i caN prEdicT daT my nExt resuLt sLip wHicH is e sa1 wiL bE mOre stUpid....stUpid tiL i dUn evEn waNna sEe....LOL....bUt hU carEs.... prElim & o'leveL mOre impOrtanT.... haix...evEn thOu sa1 had eNd...bT dEn had tO sTarT my rEvisiOn again afT a fEw days brEak.... cOsH o'leveL cHinEsE is jUz abT 1/2 mtH away.... * fEar & sTreSs
hmM... dEn tOday afT exAms, wEnt hOugang grEen tO eaT....haHax... paO paO cHa gUan again....eH... kailing is sOo lamE.... mayb is bcOsh e air cOn tOo coLd le laHx.... LOL....
yesHx.... tmL gO eaT sUsHi... mUz reaLLy pampEr myseLf afT sOo many days of sTudying & sLeeping laTe....hMm..evEn thOu i feLt daT i didnT pUt in enUff effOrt bUt...haHax...dUn carE laHx.... i jUz wanna EAT susHi.... LOL....
pHew~ cOunting dOwn tO o'leveL cHinEsE.....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
9:17 PM.
__________
Friday, May 06, 2005
eH...tOday had cOmb. cHem frEe respOnd & pOa papEr 1....oMg....c.cHem is hOrribLe !!! *v. hOrribLe lorx... bLanks werE evErywHerE....LOL....waT i didnT stUdy aLL camE ouT.... dEn waT i nOe, aLL dUn nOe gO wherE le... *hrMpx...sTupid....pray hard daT i wUn geT singLe digiT....LoL....hMm....pOa papEr 1 stiL nOt sO bad laHx.... jUz hOped daT i can miT mrs. kOh's expecTatiOn lorx..... haix....bUt it's sEem diffcuLt....cOsH i gOt loT of answErs differEnt frM wEndy,gLenda & cailing....
hMm....den afT bOth papErs, wE wenT hEarTland maLL tO haf oUr lUncH.. wE had kfC...wE siT derE fOr a lOng tyM.... wE cHaT n jOke....*wE drifTed away tO oUr wOndErland, dUn wE ?? den dUn nOe wHy.... gLenda & wan yU lyk v w.o.l.s leHx....haHax... mayb snOwing laHx.... LOL..... *gLenda had aLways bEen sLow...pErhap wan yU was affEcted by hEr...jUz lyk me....haHax....kidding laHx... erM.... den saw gEraLdine & xUan yi derE... haHax... geraLdine is sO fUnny... LOL.... x)
weLL...reacHed hm befOre 3p.M....waHx~ daT's earLy.... hMm... dEn takE a "nap" fOr abT 4 hrs... haHax.... :p
whOo... reaLLy neEd a sHorT brEak afTer sa1... evEr since e sTarT of sa1, i had bEen bUrning mid nigHt oil aLmOst evEryday... sLp aT abT 1 am evEryday... i m sO sick of exaMs.... *tired... reaLLy loOkin fOrward tO weDnEsday... `jUmp!! tyM tO pampEr myseLf wif foods.... haHax... dOes i sOund grEedy ?? mUahAhaHax....
*__^[ i m t.i.r.e.d ]^__*
- i m really tired...bOth pHysical & mentaL... i need a brEak !! x)
don'tfeelsorryforme.
2:59 PM.
__________
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
hMm....weLL...tOday having cOmb. pHysiCs frEe rEspOnd & geOgrapHy p2....oMg~ cOmb. pHysiCs was finE.... i dO tiL i wanNa sLp....LOL....cOsH i alOt dUn nOe hw tO dO....mUahaHahAx....erM...den geOgrapHy was nOt tOo bad...sUmhw i managEd tO rEmeMbEr aLL e tHing i had memOrisE fOr my pHysicaL geOgrapHy.... haHax.... bUt my hUman geOgrapHy is tErribLe....LOL.... i didnT prEparEd weLL fOr daT....haix.... nw jUz hOpe daT my hUman geO wUn puLL dOwn my gEo p2 dE marks lOrx...LOL....
eH....tmL havIng cHinesE paPer...haHax... bUt dEn sUmhw can sLack alittLe biT loRx.... LOL.... haix.... buT cHinesE abiT strEss lOrx...cOsh mdM chUa's expEctatiOn fOr me lyk v. higH lOrx...if didn'T scOre an A1,scare laTa sHe'll scOld me....LOL *alittLe scarE of hEr.... tigEr teetH....haHax.... hMm... tmL papEr end abiT laTe.... 1.30pM.... haix....sick of exaMs le.... hOpe exAm wiL end sOon.....uH...lOoking fOrward tO 11th apriL 05.... mUahahaHax.... *sUsHi !!! tyM tO pampEr myseLf le....LOL....
_( hU's e girL lOoking aT mE in e mirrOr )_
evEn thOu sHe is nO longEr daT girL i oncE nOe...bUt i stiL luv hEr fOr hU sHe is...evEn thOu sHe is sLow aT tyM...& hEr obsErvatiOns is sOo lOusy....bUt shE is tryin hEr vEry beSt tO prOve dEm wrOng...LOL...it's a diffcuLt task indEed...mUahaHahAx....bUt anyway...sHe is stiL e onE i lUv mOsT....cOsh daT's hU i m.....lalaaax....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
10:43 PM.
__________
Sunday, May 01, 2005
omg....my saTurday niTex was spOiled by a cOckrOacH....LOL....haLf way pOsting my bLog, saw a cOckrOacH in my living rM....dEn had tO gO hide in my bEdrOoM....haHax....i haTe cOckrOacH !!! *cOsh i m afraid of dEm....hrMpx....hehex....
sUmtyM...i reaLLy wOndEr...*eH...nOpe...i onLy sTarT tO wOndEr afTer yOu teLL me sOo...LOL.... dId wE reaLLy gif hEr a cHancE or sHe reaLLy didN't apprEciaTe iT ??? if u managEd tO gUess waT i m refEring tO den gUd fOr u....if nOt dUn bOther tO ask mE cOsh i dUn wisH tO tOk abT tis thing anymOre.... bUt if u tink daT e pErsOn i m saying rEfer tO u... pLz dUn tink daT way....e pErsOn is definitely nOt u lOrx....
haix...indEed....we triEd tO givE in tO her in many wayS.... sUmtyM reaLLy tink daT sHe tOok it fOr granTed....LoL....* m i thInking tOo mUcH? hMm....bUt dOes giving in e samE as giving hEr a cHance ?? sErioUsLy....waT arE cHances?? *i m cOnfUse.. did wE reaLLy givE hEr cHance in e firsT placE ??
erM....haix...i can'T dEnied daT shE dUn apprEciaTe oUr "hardwOrks".... wE triEd tO bE niCe tO hEr evEn thOu sHe lyk tO dO alOt of tHings tO leT us dEtEst hEr w/o nOeing iT.... & wE evEn tried tO dO sUmting daT is againsT our owN will, smiling tO hEr....tis may sOund easy...bUt actUally it's diffcuLt....haix...tiring as weLL.... * dUn u agrEe ?
yOu mayb wOndering waT's on her mind.... bUt i can teLL u daT i m nOt inTerEsted aT aLL....i jUz nOe daT as long as she dOes nOt step on my nErves...it's finE wif mE.... LOL.... * nO wOnder...my obsErvatiOn is sOo loUsy....cOsh i dUn really care abT my sUrroUnding....mUahahax....grinx~
-=+[ caN tyM cHange everyThings ? ]=+-
can tyM reaLLy cHange eVerytHings? can it rEaLLy cHange a pErson appEarance, aTTitUde and bEhaviOur....
don'tfeelsorryforme.
5:14 PM.
__________
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